Monday, April 27, 2015

Get busy living

Well folks, after ten months of aggressive cancer treatments, we've concluded the course of treatment defined as the "standard protocol". In other words, we've run out of options where the benefits outweigh the risks for treating my cancer.

Some might rephrase my previous statement to say, "Woohoo! I'm done with my cancer treatments! I've been cured from cancer! Look ma, I beat cancer!"

I, on the other hand, know too much. When you have Stage 3C triple negative IBC, cancer that grows with chemo, a lot of residual cancer at the time of surgery, 26/34 lymph nodes positive with cancer, and remaining nodes in my neck post surgery.....my odds are not good.

So why do I have this crazy peace? Why am I not worried? Why am I so focused on living? On living to the fullest, today?

Well for one, at Christmas-time I wasn't sure I was going to be alive today. So in some ways, I'm just happy I made it to surgery, and then through radiation. It feels like I'm already living on borrowed time (but then, aren't we all?).

Another reason is I know full well that my days were numbered before time began. The Bible says, "You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer." (Job 14:5) I also am fully aware that worrying about recurrence and death is not going to extend my days. "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Luke 12:7)

Finally, I'm still in the semi-delusional state that God is going to heal me. Doesn't that sound crazy? How can someone familiar with how stats and data and research work believe that I will be healed (on this side of Heaven, that is)?

God is in the business of doing ridiculous things. There is story after story in the Old Testament where the Israelites should have been slaughtered, where the odds weren't good, when the data indicated they didn't have a shot. One time God even told them to decrease the size of their army so that when they won they couldn't take credit for the win. They would have to give God the glory. (Judges 7)

There isn't anything in the Bible that says I'm definitely going to be cured and live a long happy life with my family. But everything I read tells me that God. is. able. And we are called to "not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matt 6:34) 

So instead of waiting to see if my cancer is coming back, I'm going to get busy living, today.

14 comments:

  1. Hi Ashleigh. You do not know me. I don't know how I found your blog but my name is Aimee and I am from Utah and I have been reading for quite a while and feel like I need to comment even though we don't know each other. I have breast cancer and have been going through treatments as well, however I have ER PR positive. You are amazing and I love your attitude. We all need to live each day as if it were our last because we are all on borrowed time. Make the most out of your good days and try not to think about the what ifs. I also want you to know that I pray for you each and every day. I admire your strength and courage so much!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Ashleigh,
    I discovered your blog just today and am so glad I did. You have an incredible attitude considering the situation you are facing. I was diagnosed with IBC stage IV in December 2014 with mets to a distant lymph site and spine. I hope you never give up hope-there are miracles and I can tell you believe in them! You may want to read a book called Radical Remission. It has many, many stories of amazing healing and inspiration. It was written by Kelly A. Turner who also started a web site with the same name. Many of these survivors had poor prognoses but beat all odds! There is also a blog by Whitney Cox, an incredible 27-year-old Christian, just diagnosed in January with metastatic cancer, origin unknown. Her faith, spirit, and attitude of hope is an immense inspiration.
    I will be adding you to my ever growing prayer list and pray for strength and hope for you and your beautiful family.
    Melissa R.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband Jon Kling is friends with Alan. He sent us your blog yesterday! I read everyone of them! Your strength & courage are amazing! You are a warrior!!! Your faith is amazing & sharing your story with everyone - thank you! Prayers for you & your precious family !!! Marion& Jon - praying in Alabama

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please Google "Paul Stamets Turkey Tail mushrooms" and watch his YouTube videos on Turkey Tail and breast cancer. His mother had IBC Stage 4 with 3 months to live. She's 5 years out and NED! Research supports this. I have taken it for 3 years. Melissa M

    ReplyDelete
  5. What an inspiring blog Ashleigh. Having God in our life makes a big difference. Whatever trials and challenges, we just have to trust God with everything for He has a better plan for us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات ومنازل وشقق بالمدينة المنورة شركة غسيل خزانات ومكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة
    شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة

    ReplyDelete
  7. الشرق الاوسط من اهم شركات نقل العفش بالدمام متحصصه فى نقل عفش واثاث بالدمام ونقل العفش بالخبر كما انها توفر شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل والخبر وشركة نقل عفش بالقطيف والاحساء وجميع خدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة الشرقية بارخص اسعار نقل عفش بالدمام وتقدم ايضا شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام والخبر
    شركة الشرق الاوسط
    شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف
    شركة نقل اثاث بالاحساء
    شركة نقل عفش الجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركات النقل البري بالدمام
    شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
    ارقام شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
    ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر

    ReplyDelete

  8. شركة نقل عفش بالدمام


    احصلواااا علي عرض خاص جدا من شركة المنزل افضل شركة
    نقل اثاث بالدمام تعمل علي تقديم جميع خدماتها مع افضل الفنيين
    خبراء الفك و التركيب و تغليف جميع قطع الاثاث
    و اكبر اسطول من السيارات لنقل العفش
    من الباب للباب



    شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام


    http://elmnzel.com/moving-furniture-dammam/

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cured of TNBC!
    I want to take this time out as a cancer survivor to encourage women out there still suffering from this with my story on how i got a cure. The sad news about it is that i was diagnosed on my 36th birthday in 2008 and with stage 3 TNBC which after i made research was a very aggressive form of cancer at that point i decided and told myself i was going to die and that the end has finally come. All my life i never thought of having breast cancer because i was very active and i worked out at the gym several times every week and my diet was okay. In my search for a cure after 6 years of diagnosis and even after chemo which i did twice spending thousands of dollars but to no avail, until a church member told me all about Dr Aleta a herbal doctor that specializes in treating TNBC, who could help me with a permanent cure, i doubted this at first but i later gave it a try following her methods and instructions. It took 3 months and after it all i felt normal but still went for diagnosis and i was clean today i am proud to say i am a cancer survivor no nodes and i am totally free the new diagnosis confirmed it. Do not die in silence or ignorance because of breast cancer just simply reach her on aletedwin@gmail.com and also for any related cancer illness don't be shy just speak to her today.

    ReplyDelete

  10. شركة تخزين اثاث بالدمام

    لم يعد مكان تخزين االعفش مشكلة الان مع مخازن شركة المنزل شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام
    علي اعلي مستيو من الاتساع و الجودة و النظافة التي تضمن لكم افضل تخزين اثاث بالدمام
    فشركة المنزل شركة تخزين اثاث بالدمام علي اعلي مستوي من الخبرة و الاحترافية في تخزين الاثاث بافضل المستودعات و المخازن مع اقل الاسعار بالمملكة


    شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام


    http://elmnzel.com/moving-furniture-dammam/

    ReplyDelete