Friday, December 19, 2014

One Cough Drop

PET Scan

My mom used to say to me,"You are really smart, but you have no common sense!" Today was a perfect example of that. As many of you know, I was scheduled to have a PET scan this afternoon to see if the cancer has spread to my organs (as the doctors believe it most likely has). The instructions were no food four hours before the scan but water was fine. I didn't eat lunch and figured I was probably good with that. As I was getting out of the car to go in for my scan I grabbed a cough drop sort of mindlessly and popped it into my mouth- no big deal right? WRONG. The nurse that was prepping me for the scan kept grilling me to make sure I hadn't eaten anything and mentioned cough drop as something that would be no bueno for the scan. Apparently the PET scan works by putting radioactive sugar into your system, the cancer grabs it first, and then lights up when they scan you. If the cancer already has sugar to process it won't fully grab the radioactive sugar and the cancer doesn't light up.

So the whole thing ended up being called off over a cough drop. The staff was super awesome and rescheduled me for first thing tomorrow morning (have to be there at 6:30am which means leaving the house at 5:45am- ouch!). I may theoretically be able to still get my results tomorrow at my doctor's appointment at 11am and still may be able to get chemo at noon. My doctor wants the results before starting the new chemo regimen (I think they alter the dose if they are trying to cure you (higher dose) vs. keep you alive for as long as possible (lower dose)). No matter how you slice it, tomorrow will be an interesting day.

Thank you!

[warning: lots of honesty coming] Last night I was literally on the floor, crying, essentially having a panic attack thinking of leaving the boys without a mom. Every adorable thing they did made me burst out in tears thinking about how badly I didn't want to leave them. Brad and I spend a good 15 minutes in prayer just crying out to God to spare my life and begging him for a miracle. I felt so anxious and alone and prayed to God to restore my peace and my joy.

I had asked a couple of friends to come over after their kids went to sleep to help me with a Christmas project and spend some time with me. I debated about calling it off since I wasn't exactly in the best shape to be having guests. I'm so glad I didn't. Having them around reminded me what my life is like- it's stinkin' awesome. I have great friends, a beautiful family, a wonderful support network- if it wasn't for the cancer, I would have literally nothing to complain about. Being around them made me feel like everything was totally normal and fine.

Last night I had a wonderful night's sleep and today I had complete peace (literally zero anxiety) and total joy (laughing and dancing with kids all day). It was as if I was completely on my face in the pit last night, Brad got me up to my knees, my two friends lifted me up to stand, and then the countless messages via facebook, text, and email allowed me to run. Brad and I took the longest walk we've done in awhile just because I felt so good and had so much energy. In fact, I raced him up the hill in our neighborhood!

How does that happen? How can I have a complete 180 in a matter of hours? You know what that is? I'll tell you what that is not- it is not logical or natural. It is supernatural. It is the prayers of maybe thousands of people across the US and world praying for me today. It's the countless encouraging emails, texts, calls, facebook messages, and blog comments left by so many of you.  God has done a mighty work through y'all. You have been the hands and feet of Jesus to me today.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I feel ready to face whatever tomorrow brings- whether that is terminal cancer or a complete miraculous healing. Thank you for your love, encouragement, and prayers. They mean the world to me.

14 comments:

  1. Praying fervently for you this morning as you have your PET scan. Lots and lots of love! ~Carrie B. (also sent you an email)

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  2. You probably have no idea who I am, but I remember you from Fellowship Class, and have been praying for you in this journey. Last night at home, I was in tears for you and your family, right along with you. Thinking of you & praying for you often!!!

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  3. You sweet girl. I am SO glad you are without anxiety today. I am praying so hard for you and your family to have peace. Lots of love and prayers to you from Georgia. By the way, I found your blog through Emily Parker's blog. So, complete and total stranger to you. Ha!

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  4. This made me think of this article: http://drsircus.com/medicine/cancer/sugar-cancer-growth-research

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  5. You are such an inspiring woman full of faith and optimism, Ashleigh! I know that you have touched the lives of countless people with your amazing relationship with God, your strength, and your honesty throughout this journey. I continue to pray for your sweet family during this difficult time. Sending positive thoughts and love your way!!

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  6. I'm not positive yesterday's comment went through... but even if it did, just know - I'm following your journey closely - asking my praying friends to pray with me - and believing that the Lord has done mightier works than this. Each of our stories has challenges - those we don't even know yet. Your grace under pressure is such an inspiration. And your hope in the face of death is so encouraging. Of course, there will be ups and downs, but the overarching theme here is your abiding faith. Thank you for living out your life as a Christian and modeling what it looks like so amazingly. Praying that the PET scan offers hope today. And asking the Lord to intercede mightily in your life. And happy belated birthday! - Katie Long

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  7. Ashleigh, we are praying for you in San Antonio. Luke and Amelia pray nightly to make Noah and David's mommy feel better! Have a wonderful Christmas and we hope to see you soon!

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  8. Hang in there girlfriend. Keep holding His hand, and He'll get you through it all, whatever "all" is. Much love and prayers. Aunt Ellen
    (Are you allowed to have maple syrup?)

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  9. افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات ومنازل وشقق بالمدينة المنورة شركة غسيل خزانات ومكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة
    شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة

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  10. الشرق الاوسط من اهم شركات نقل العفش بالدمام متحصصه فى نقل عفش واثاث بالدمام ونقل العفش بالخبر كما انها توفر شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل والخبر وشركة نقل عفش بالقطيف والاحساء وجميع خدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة الشرقية بارخص اسعار نقل عفش بالدمام وتقدم ايضا شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام والخبر
    شركة الشرق الاوسط
    شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف
    شركة نقل اثاث بالاحساء
    شركة نقل عفش الجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركات النقل البري بالدمام
    شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
    ارقام شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
    ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر

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